for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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