I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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