screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
