Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
