I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
