so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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