so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
