You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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