Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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