I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
