Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
