remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
