So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
