Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
