It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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