About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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