Your tits are I can't wait for
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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