I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
