Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
