Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize