Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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