just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
