i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Randomize
