Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
