also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
