Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
