need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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