i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
