some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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