That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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