I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
