STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
