Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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