try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
