that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
