you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
