***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
