Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
