i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
