Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
