i just had sex bonerless
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
