So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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