I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It's just like the Real World with babies
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
