is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
