Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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