3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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