Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I have fence marks all over my body
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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