The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
