Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
