So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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