we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
