Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
