singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
