Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
