How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Couch. On fire.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
