Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
