Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize