Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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