its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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