I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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