He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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