I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
