I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
