the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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