I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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